Church History (In 4 Minutes)

by Stephen Rodgers

So I stumbled upon this little gem over at the Biblical Christianity blog the other day. It occurred to me that a quick survey through the song would not be a bad use of time. I hope that this proves at least entertaining, but hopefully gives you a brief look at the history of Christianity for the last 2,000 years.

And yes, I’m being somewhat lazy and mostly using Wikipedia and BibleGateway for the links. If something sparks your interest, I’m sure you could do a much deeper study. I’ve also added year markers for each verse of the song…those might be a tad rough. Also, there were a few words that either I couldn’t think of an appropriate link (left blank), or I couldn’t understand the word in question (marked by a ‘?’). If you figure any of them out, let me know!

And by the way…just because something is written on Wikipedia, doesn’t make it unbiased. *winks*

[33AD – 95AD]

Pentecost, Palestine, Barbarians, Paul Gets A Sign
Neglected Widows, Martyred Stephen, Gentile vs. Jew
New Testament, Getting Tribal, Gnostic Gospels, Holy Bible
Jamnia, Revelation, Word Of God Is True

[64AD – 380AD]

Martyrs, Diocletian, Polycarp, Domitian
Church Learns, Nero Burns, Christians Underground
Chi-Rho, Basilica, Vita Evangelica
Nicea, Who Is Jesus, Christians Start To Rebound

[387AD – 735AD]

Saint Patrick, Monestaries, Visigoths Are Pretty Scary
Pope Leo, St. Jerome, Forgetting How To Read
Mohammed Writes The Koran, Convert Or Die To Islam
Hard To Cope, Where’s The Pope, Venerable Bede

[476AD – 802AD]

Dark Ages, Knights And Pages, East And West Both Split In Stages
Monks Skulls, Cathedrals, Charlemagne Starts To Reign
Methodias, Constantinople, Peasants, Clergy, Serfs, And Nobles
Augustine, Irene, Everything Goes Byzantine

[634AD – 1346AD]

Cluny, Bubonic Plague, Vikings, Saracens Invade
William Conquers, Monks Pray, And Jerusalem Gets Sacked
Flying Buttress, Saint Claire, Celibacy, Worship Mary
Knights Templar, Stained Glass, Sultan Saladin Gets Whacked

[1135AD – 1280AD]

Mendicants, Avignon, Albertus Magnus, Genghis Khan
Aquinus, Maimonides, Gentle Francis Of Assisi
Summa De Bono, Faith And Reason, Say “God Bless You” When You’re Sneezing
Just War, Crusades Galore, But Who Are We Fighting For

[1378AD – 1648AD]

Competing Popes, Not Much Hope, Joan of Arc Makes Her Mark
John Wycliff, Thomas A Kempis, Canterbury Tales
Michelangelo, Siena, Leonardo And Vienna
Reformation, Printing Press, Gutenburg Prevails

[1484AD – 1564AD]

John Calvin, Huldrych Zwingli, Indulgences For The Kingly
Martin Luther Pounds The Door, “Here I Stand, I’ll Do No More

[1510AD – 1789AD]

King James Bible, John Locke, Galileo, JS Bach
Anabaptists, Guy Fawkes, Blaise Pascal, John Knox
Puritans Preach Denial, Salem Witches Go On Trial
Enlightenment and Transcendence, We Declare Our Independence

[1714AD – Present]

Whitefield Makes Us All Awakened, Pentecostals Get Us Shaken
Darwin Teaches Evolution, Marx Preaches Revolution
Jesus Freaks, Immigration, Nuclear Annilation
Overwhelmed By Information, Who Will Save This Generation?

 

Update: Apparently the video originated from here. I’ve updated a couple of the lyrics and links.

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The Beacon is the monthly newsletter for Lighthouse Bible Church in San Diego, California. It covers a variety of subjects including LBC events, church history, current events from a Christan perspective, ministry profiles, and messages from our pastors and elders. To join the Beacon ministry, please contact Stephen Rodgers.

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