Jennifer Lee

by Jennifer Lee

I came into college a brand new Christian. I had just heard the gospel, put my faith in God, and He was working in me. I also started learning some of the harder doctrines, and I thought I knew it all. Freshman year was the year of oblivion. I had no idea how stupid and prideful I reallywas. I struggled with seeing my utter depravity. But I didn’t ‘feel’ it. I knew how sinful I was, but I didn’t feel miserable over it, and I prayed that God would show me my sinfulness. He hasn’t stopped answering.

Sophomore year, He rocked me. While we were going through the Sermon on the Mount in flocks He showed me the wickedness that resides in my heart, that I was so much like the Pharisees. Junior year, He broke me. He showed me through the sins of others, and the trial that came from them, the ugliness of my sin. He comforted me in my pain and showed me that He is Abba. Senior year, He humbled me. He showed me that I truly am but a creature, knowing so little and doing even less. He showed me the foolishness of my tongue, and led me to His Word to correct me.

Through it all, I would grow desperate over my sin, but then He would remind me of His grace. Having seen the great ugliness of my sin, I grew to understand just a little better how great His love and grace really is. He helped me understand first my humble state, then showed me that in my humble state, He gets all the glory. By using one as weak as me to do things for His kingdom, He manifests His power; my prayer has been that I would decrease, and He would increase (starting from within my heart). “And He has said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.’ Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” 2 Cor. 12:9 He is my strength, my guide, my Savior, my God, my Abba, and I can sing with the Psalmist, “Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:25-26

Favorite food: Korean.

Favorite Bible character: Hey! I’m like him… Peter. He was the apostle with the foot-shaped mouth, and I relate to him a lot, but God chose to use Him to display His glory. He showed that He could use the stupidest people to do mighty things and that gives me hope. =P

Most memorable moment: I will remember a lot of the stupid things I’ve said and done (I wish I could reduce it to a moment, but that’s impossible).

What will you miss: I will miss having a flexible schedule.

What are you looking forward to: Getting to know my family.

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The Beacon is the monthly newsletter for Lighthouse Bible Church in San Diego, California. It covers a variety of subjects including LBC events, church history, current events from a Christan perspective, ministry profiles, and messages from our pastors and elders. To join the Beacon ministry, please contact Stephen Rodgers.

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